Mike Messner grew up with a typical male bonding experience – hunting with his dad and Gramps. In a personal narrative about his life and family, Mike describes how the male family rite of passage created inner conflicts within him. At age 13 Mike decided he didn’t like killing animals. In 1973 he wrote, “I had now denounced hunting—at least to my friends at college—as a violent proto-military activity through which men bonded with each other, excluded women and subjugated nature. Hunting was part of everything that was wrong with the world, everything I was fighting to change.”
Over the next four decades, Mike was preoccupied with the question, “What is manhood? Inspired by feminism, I have interrogated my own life, and the broader social world around me, wondering how it is that men commit so many horrible acts of violence against women, against other men, against themselves, and indeed, against the natural world.”
After the deaths of his father and grandfather, Mike wondered “what kind of father am I? I have offered my 2 sons a different model of manhood. Is it better?” He questions the myth of male heroism and how it might impact human needs for connection, intimacy and love. He didn’t want to inherit rifles or shotguns as he had decided not to live with guns in his home. However, he did keep Gramps’ .32-caliber revolver because it was Gramps wish that he pass on the tradition. Mike struggled with how he could remain true to his own beliefs and honor his Gramps’ wish. Mike will be writing a piece in our next newsletter about how he has come to terms with that dilemma.
About the author: Michael Messner, Ph.D., is Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies and Faculty Development Director at the University of Southern California, where he has been teaching since 1987. Messner is the author of ten books, multiple articles, research and recipient of many awards. His current project is a life history study of two generations of male activists against gender violence. The study explores how activists make sense of their anti-violence work and how they strategize to stop men’s violence within two different historical contexts of gender formation.
